i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
