what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
