apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
