your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
