oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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