He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
