You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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