Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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