I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
