Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
