she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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