Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
