we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
