So drunk, too bad you don't want this
now i know why i became what i already was.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
