Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
