its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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