I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
