mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
