Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
