That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
