Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
