you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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