I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
