You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
