I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
