singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
