We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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