so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
