I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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