Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
