butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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