Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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