I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
