Heybabeimwearingurpanties
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Two words: blizzard sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
