wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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