Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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