i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
