Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
