Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
