I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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