sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
