I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
