Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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