Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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