i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
