Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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