Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm too high and old for this...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
