An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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