i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
