I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
