You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
