shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
