she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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